the Circle-Jerk of Life / part 2

        Besides, we like animals better then people.  Especially anthropomorphic animals—they’re so clever, aren’t they? 

some people .. like anthropomorphism more than others

        I watched a woman drag her screaming crying child across a parking lot to her car once, practically wrenching the little girl’s arm out of its socket, screaming—pure banshee having her internal organs removed without anesthesia screaming—at this little four year old the entire time to shut her mouth. 

        Kid gets locked in the backseat of the minivan while the woman pulls her little yappy terrier-Pomeranian-Scotty whatever the fuck stupid little dog, and coos and sweet talks to it as the thing takes a shit in the parking lot. 

        The whole time this little girl is crying, screaming for her mother, whom she probably thinks just abandoned her, and this fat bitch is googoogaga talking her doggie about how “oh my god you made such good poopies—yes you did—you made poopies—good job!”

        This woman had infinite patience for her stupid dog, that thing could have shit on her face—no, wait, she’s probably into that—so it could have blown just-got-into-the-garbage explosive doggie shits all over the inside of that car and she probably would have rushed it to the vet to make sure Mommy’s Little Snookums didn’t have a tummy ache.  And while Snookums was in the vet, the little girl would probably be left in that rotting shit covered minivan.

        And all that little girl wanted was a coloring book.  Got a dislocated shoulder instead.  And then got slapped for crying about that.

        Do you know why?  Because despite only being four that little girl is human, and therefore is viewed as intelligent, but that little dog?  No, that little dog just doesn’t know any better.  Its sweet and stupid, so innocently oblivious.  Unlike that little girl, who fucking knows better.  Not should know better—no she does, she knows better.  She’s doing this on purpose.

you don’t get between a child and their coloring book

        A coloring book?  How dare she hope to express her childish desires by coloring!  Little bitch.  She probably won’t even stay inside the lines, and do you know what that is?  It’s not being sloppy, or childish, it’s disrespectful.  How much was the coloring book?  $3.95?  You think money grows on trees?

        Kids.  Running around like they don’t know any better.  Like what?  Like you’re  supposed to teach them how to act, how to behave.  Teach them?  How ridiculous.  You’re parents, not teachers, that isn’t your job. 

        When did we start caring more about pets then children?  When did it become normal to chastise a toddler into never-ending psychological insecurities simply for being a child while displaying unending patience and sweet baby talk for a fucking quadruped?

        Now, I’ve been misunderstood here as meaning that child should be showered with gifts and coddled and sweet-talked to end her tantrums.  That’s not what I’m saying.  I vaguely remember being a child, and I remember throwing epic tantrums.  And I remember getting punished.

        I’m not advocating rewarding bad behavior.  I’m all for ripping that kid out of the store when they won’t heed repeated verbal warnings or a spanking if things get out of hand.  Yeah, a spanking—oh no, child abuse!  I didn’t tell you smother your kid with a chloroform-soaked Care Bears pillow to get them to sleep, or recommend shaking your baby to stop them from crying. Its a spanking, get over it.

You knew the consequences of your actions---I warned you, I warned you in my mind

        Now, I’m not saying that little girl deserved a coloring book because she was crying, or that her mother wasn’t justified in pulling her out of the store without one.  I’m sure that girl was being a little brat and should have been taken home without anything at all.  I’m not telling parents to heap rewards upon their children regardless of behavior, or more so for bad behavior.  I’m not telling parents anything, actually because, really, what the fuck to I know about child-rearing?

        My objection was that this mother treated the family pet with more dignity than her own offspring.   I don’t object to the child being removed from the store without the object of her desires, but the manner in which the woman did so, juxtaposed by her treatment of the dog moments later.

You gonna turn the car around? That's going to teach him to stop kicking your seat? I think not...

        Don’t get me wrong, I love bullying little kids.  I’m not a big guy—there really aren’t many people I can intimidate, so when I have the chance to browbeat another human being (OK, six year old), I’m going to take it.  Kids and homeless people.  Well, homeless people when I’m drunk, sober hobo fighting is just sad.

     I’m not saying it’s OK, but I’m not the kid’s parent.  There’s tough love, there’s strict parenting, and then there’s just being a dick. 

       Maybe if kids started shitting on the carpet instead of in diapers?  Diapers?  Really?

        Who do they think they are?

About mattS

Couch potato, burrito aficionado, whiskey sour drinker, handyman, writer of interesting things.

Posted on July 7, 2011, in Rant and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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